We have a mulching mower, not a dog!

So, about 5 years ago I gave in and agreed to be a dog owner. Now, I must say that I have always been a dog lover, but a small dog lover. When I was about 3 a St. Bernard came into our back yard, knocked me out of my swing and laid on top of me. My parents found me and shooed the dog but I have been scared of large dogs since then. Taylor grew up with a golden retreiver and hates small dogs. His "dream" (since college when he started duck hunting) was to train a hunting dog. I gave in and we got Maggie Water Tower (Hunter named her and he was 3), and she was the cutest little 4 pound dog in the world...for about a week! Now I will say that Taylor did an amazing job training her, I am so proud of him. But this is not a dog, I fully believe she is a goat or something. When she was only a few months old she ate the gutter off of our house, she ate the screens off of our house, she has eaten every toy that has come into our back yard, she ate balloons, she ate shoes, she ate the door frame, she ate the swing set, she dug craters all over our yard....you get the point! So, now we are in a new (to us) house and I am determined that our yard will be pretty, not a mine field. So, Taylor is pretending that he will wash the dog every week and vacuume all the time so that his baby can be in the house. Well this dog is on crack and can't be still so she is licking herself NON STOP and it's driving me nuts so I bought her this rubber chew toy that said "proven to withstand the toughest chewers" it was a pile of rubber bits within hours. Today I tried again and bought this NASTY real bone and it was over 6 inches long and huge, well I bought it at 3 and it's gone. Now she is over there licking herself again, I think I am going to puke. Is there such a thing as an indestructible dog toy????